it’s late.
i guess i should go to bed.
i need to get sleep.
i think?
why did i need sleep again?
i can’t seem to remember.
maybe that’s why i needed sleep.
so that i could grasp reality again.
it’s so beautiful in here though.
in my mind.
thoughts of you lingering around.
it doesn’t feel like i’m awake.
i can feel you.
your presence is still in the air although you were never here.
i’m in my room - i think?
it feels so unfamiliar.
you feel familiar though.
and your presence.
i see the outlines of your face.
floating in midair.
you’re like a ghost.
you’re beautiful.
you’re here.
living in my head rent-free.
especially at times like this.
i could call it early in the morning instead of late at night to make me feel better?
i have to get some sleep.
but i don’t want to lose you.
your face.
your form.
your presence in my heart.
i need to wake up tomorrow.
you’re here now.
tomorrow i’m alone again.
i don’t want to be.
i should go to sleep.
but you’re the best hallucination i ever night-dreamed.
maybe i can stay awake a little longer.
just five more minutes.
 when i opened my eyes
 i saw nothing.
 i saw blue

 and to be honest, i was feeling a little
 blue, too.
 the clouds are passing by
 and morphing into new selves
 kind shapes
 being a cloud must feel inspiring
 being nothing and so much
 at the same time
 a white fluffy orb
 traveling the skies
 blessing human eyes
 with pictures 
 and even clouds
 feel the need to cry sometimes
 even though they don’t have to be anywhere
 even though they are in a constant process of evolving.
 but maybe a cloud is sad to leave
 to not have a home
 the next time that i’m sad
 and feeling caged in 
 this life that was built for me
 i will think about the cloud
 and it’s dream
 of a home. 

Wicked Queen

Evil life
May I say: Evil child
She wants to grab your crown
Wants to snatch it
She tries to take it
By any chance
She smiles while she kills
And when she’s done you won’t know
Cause you‘ll be gone
She‘ll bring darkness
And she‘ll smile
With her wicked heart
Deeply sorry for what will come
A kingdom shall rise
By the hands of a evil queen
Go my dear, flee
If you still can
Cause she‘ll come
The wicked queen

Shades of Blue

The ocean -
The nightly sky
Fishes in the endless depth of the sea
The shimmering wings of a bee
Flowers on green grass
And butterflies dancing in our vital gas
Berries on a shadowy weed,
Blood, before you bleed;
Your uncle’s new tweed.
The tears you shed
On the fresh sheets of your bed
The flame on your stove,
Dreaming of my favourite cove
Small diamonds dropping out of a cloud
And our feelings 
That we enshroud.
Der Titel des Albums ist ‚Shades of Blue‘ und hat mich mit diesem wunderbaren Song zu dem oben stehenden Text inspiriert. Er kann zusammen mit der Musik etwas langsamer gelesen und genossen werden.


mercy is our greatest weapon
we can make friends by offering it
or enemies by denying it
such great power comes within one single choice
we can always somehow choose how people act around and towards us
by deciding how we act around them first
mercy is our greatest weapon
we can wield it as sword
or hold it as a shield
it's your choice

entstanden August 2020

Black Lives Matter

speechless was I when I saw,
saw what had happend

no words for the pain one had to feel,
many had to feel

I can't breathe.

WE can't breathe,
can't brethe anymore,
cause there's hatred, fear and injustice kneeling on our necks,
pushing us down,
destroying lives, peace, and love
and then there's no more air
and we can't breathe

everyone can see,
can hear, can feel
and there's no denying that there must be change

I have a dream,
I have a dream that we stand together, unite hands,
I have a dream that we treat each other as equals,
raise our voices and  break those boundaries
I have a dream,
as one had 57 years ago,
and it still hasn't happend

Let's make it happen,
Let's make it better,

You Can Go Your Own Way

Loving you is not the right thing to do
I wanna forget everything you've ever said
If I could I would take back my world
The world you stole from me
How can I ever change back to who I was?
You can go your own way
And leave me alone
Take a different path into the opposite direction
Let me enjoy the peaceful loneliness you left me in
Start walking and never come back
You can go your own way
And discover something new
Something I'm glad I'll never see
Live your own life
Your life I'm never gonna be part of again
You can go your own way now
Inspiriert vom gleichnamigen Song, Text entstanden Juli 2020


Being a human being is hard. It fucking is.

It’s feelings and emotions and pain and confusion and helplessness.

We all are different but I believe that deep in our heart we all long for love and peace.

Some people try hard and minimise their lifestyle to save the planet. Some try to spread as much love as they can. Some work their ass off, for other people, without profiting from it.

But some of us have been destroyed by society. We learned to look after ourselves first. We need money, we need things. We buy and buy. Most things we own have been made by a suffering human being. We eat food that kills and tortures animals. We are egoistic. Regarding so many aspects of life.

We need to learn to be loving again. To care for our planet. To look out for our friends, our classmates, the people we go to work with, the people we meet on the street and the people we don’t know. 

And some people try. They try really hard.

But it’s depressing. It’s depressing to be trying hard. It’s depressing to not eat meat, when others laugh and buy chicken wings from kfc, and are proud of that. It’s depressing to be helpful and always end up being the stupid one doing all the work and not even being appreciated or respected by the others. It’s depressing to love when people don’t accept that you love who you love. It’s depressing to include everyone in you community, when others think that they have the right to insult people because of the way they look, because of their job, because of their sexuality, because of their gender, because of their status, because of their believes. It’s depressing to see people’s lives getting ruined by hateful people, by intolerant people, by people who haven’t learned what love means. What it means to live on this small planet, as a part of a human community, that should be in balance with the rest of the life on Earth.

And the worst thing: no matter how hard you try. No matter how MUCH you want this world to be a GOOD place. A place for everyone. A peaceful place. No matter how much you want that, no matter how hard YOU try, you won’t be the one who changes the world. 

Because there are people who are hateful. 

And that hurts, it hurts to fucking much.

But we shouldn’t give up! If we, who love, unite, the message can be spread. The message, that love is beautiful. Love unites. And love heals the wounds that hate creates.

So stop being afraid of love, stop being addicted to power and start to live.