I used to love flowers even when I did not know what that word meant I dreamt of a big garden full of them so that they would start blooming every spring and bring joy right alongside that I used to love flowers, every color and variety I dreamt of looking down from a tower and just staring at them the beauty of nature I used to love the buzzing of bees and the rustling of the leaves as the evening began I wanted to stay outside forever, just looking at the stars, the beauty of being and everything in between I used to love flowers and their unique scents I wandered through our garden and hoped to find meaning in the little things the way the grass felt below my bare feet, so soft and the way the trees spoke to me ever so quietly I used to admire how the world did not care for anyone or anything Right now I feel as though the world should end. It has no right to move on. I made paper flowers for my room because I can’t keep real ones alive and even if they can never bloom they can also never die. I need the little things even if I cannot seem to see them right now and I know this feeling will end, I just don’t know how… I hate how I don’t feel joy seeing the bees and I really hate the sound of the leaves right now. I hate knowing how love feels like and not being able to love the flowers. I made some of paper so that they would never die, but maybe that was what made them special. And maybe I loved the flowers because I wanted to feel special in bringing them back to life. I used to love flowers, I think I still do and even if I can’t see it right now, I know eventually I will find a way to see it the way I used to.